Now that I’m a wife and a mother, I think a lot about how my life has changed over the past few years, but also how this change hasn’t made my life better or worse.
The other day we were talking about where we would move, if we could go anywhere, and Michael said something really insightful. He said that he would like move to California, but he knows that even though it would be a new place, he would still be himself. He said something like, "I would be moving there with Michael, and since I wouldn't leave my self behind, I would experience the same joys and challenges." I really appreciated this, and it helped me put into perspective how change frames our life—but doesn't change it, unless we change.
I think it’s human nature to be tempted by the grass is always greener thoughts. For some of us, when we were single we thought about dating or being married. For others, we thought about having babies when we were childless. We think about owning a home when we live in an apartment, or buying a new car, or getting a new job. I could go on and on, describing dreams and desires that range from the really small things to the really big things, but ultimately I think all of them have the power to create in us a spirit of dissatisfaction.
I know for certain, that with each day of marriage and motherhood, I am becoming a more compassionate, loving person. But some days it does not feel good. Some days I am worn out and I dream of a life where I am only responsible for myself. But this is my life now, and I know I must press into it—I must press into the challenges and the joys, and I must embrace how they are growing me.