This life—as an adult, a wife, a parent, a working mom—every day is work; each moment, each reaction, each decision. I have to choose to be fully present in each relationship and with each responsibility. I have to mentally and emotionally check in, and then I have to do the best I can, and I have to trust that everyone else is doing the same. I have to decide to make meaningful, rather than arbitrary decisions, when it comes to parenting the boys. I have to actively love Michael, to see the best in him, to support him, and to believe in him. I have to embrace Connor's 5:30 am wake up, and take on the day with purpose. I have to remember all of the great things about my job, even when there are not so great moments. I have to make the most of being stuck in traffic with the boys, because that is a sacrifice we make to live where we live, work where we work, and send the boys to a school we believe in.
In between the work, there are many moments of joy and clarity, moments where I have no doubt that this is right. Most of all, those moments come to me when I reflect on being a parent to Ryan and Connor, which is the greatest experience I have had in my life. The hard work of parenting, though physically and emotionally exhausting, has shifted my perspective, by forcing me to come out of myself and live for someone else. The boys challenge me to trust intentions, to see the best, to love, and then love some more.